Jon: (presents a Shrek-themed controller) Weird! Gross! (squishes the joystick's rubber Shrek ears) Ewwww! This is the- That's the Shrek one. That's a bit barbaric, isn't it? (tilts the joystick around a bit) Poor bastard. (Jon presents a Venom symbiote-covered Spider-Man controller, and takes note of the head placed on the joystick as if Spider-Man were somehow decapitated.) Is this good? Is this bad? I- I- I'm sorry man, I kinda have to do this. Jon: (presents a very suggestive The Thing console) This one is, uh, Fantastic Four's d- uh. This o- this- This one is Spider-Man's penis. Jon: (presents another Spider-Man joystick) A lot of these are just a penis. Ya think you could, y'know, back off a bit? You know the saying: a watched man never plays. It seems that Spider-Man is staring directly at the joystick.) (The camera zooms in on the Spider-Man figure on it. Jon: (presents one with a Spider-Man theme) There's a lot of these in the Marvel Superhero series. Jon: (displays two Namco ones) These two are both classic Namco games. I mean, these things were everywhere! Look at the ones I have. Of course people were gonna be like: "You're tellin' me there are ten classic Namco videogames in this one small box that looks like a tiny version of the bigger box it used to be in?!! Well, sign me and the rest of America up! We got a couple years before the housing crisis! Let's have some fun!" So basically, what started as an innocent way to port some classic videogames in a novel way spiraled into a massive business. The most you'd see were those GBA ports of NES games, so at the time, it made sense. Remember, this was before downloadable content and virtual console re-releases were widespread. Jon (VO): Now, plug and play games have been around for decades, but their true rise to popularity began in the early 2000s, led by a company called Jakks Pacific. when for $20, you can get them the magical device that plugs right into their TV, already has the game inside of it AND is also a toy of SpongeBob's face?! (plays with the SpongeBob controller's nose/joystick) That's like, what? That's like eighteen toys in one. Jon (VO): Why buy your loved ones a $50 SpongeBob game for their Wii in which you have to, y'know, put the disc in, then figure out which cords plug in from the box machine into the TV, and then you gotta maybe, like, switch it on, and who knows what else from there. Pac-Man plug and play controller) One of these. But in this category, one genre reigns supreme: the plug and play games. You know the ones: bottom of the bin, a- literally bottom of the bin at the grocery store. (A picture of a Walmart bargain bin appears, most notably featuring a 50-game pileup of the Xbox 360 version of Max Payne 3.) Oh, you got me Monopoly this year for the Nintendo 64? (briefly shows footage of that game) Well, this would have been great back in 1864! Y'know, when it was impressive just to not die from bein' 35! Jon (VO): Black Friday approaches, and that means one thing: Grandma's out gettin' trampled just to get you the same old gift. (We begin with photos of crowds of people shopping on Black Friday.) The plug and play controller then leaps into the air, leaving nothing but a pile of its own absurdly long cord that infinitely unravels as the console rise.) (Title card shows Jon plugging a massive Spider-Man plug and play controller with Jaqcues and Cinnamon sitting on it into his TV.
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